Vanashing Goodness

Well, nineteen months later, here I am. Fully aware that I am speaking to myself (why would anyone be waiting to see if I am blogging after nineteen months) I felt the need for an outlet for what the Lord has been teaching me, and will continue to teach me. As I journal in my private time I want to share every now and then what the Lord is putting on my heart and how he is convicting me in this tumultuous season of my life.

To serve as an update and point of reference for the re-launching of this blog, here's what you missed: I am a week away from graduating from the University of Florida with a B.S. in Family, Youth and Community Sciences. This summer I am raising support in order that I might serve the Lord in Paris, France through a year-long internship with Campus Crusade for Christ. More details will follow, but those are the big things for now.

Matthew 12:7

"And if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,' you would have not condemned the guiltless."

This passage begins on the sabbath, and the disciples, hungry and no doubt tired, begin to pluck heads of grain and eat them. The Pharisees, hearts set on trapping Jesus, call him out on working on the sabbath. Jesus responds by quoting scripture right back to them. He references times when priests had entered the presence of God and eaten on the sabbath. He asserts his authority and tries to change their perceptions on the heart behind the Law.

I understand that Jesus came to fulfill what the Law could not. He references a verse from Hosea 6:6. The Pharisees needed to hear that it was not works or obedience to the law that condemns a man, but that it has always been about faith in God. I am much more like the early Israelites than I would like to admit. They gave sacrifice after sacrifice and it seems as though their goodness was fleeting. Jesus is saying here that he wants me to be intimate with Him. Not do things for him like give burnt offerings, but to seek his face and grow in my knowledge of Him. This knowledge that produces holy fear and love.

As I enter into this summer of doing service to God by raising support, I don't want my money, or my energy, or my time to become simply an offering from me to earn favor from God. My goodness like Israel will surely vanish before I even open my eyes in the morning.

Father, show me what mercy looks like. If it is mercy you require, father give me the grace to experience this mercy first hand that I might live my days full of your spirit. Teach me what it means to live for you full of mercy and knowledge of you. Strip me of my pride and let me depend on you for every breath.